5 Important Things to Know About Tantric Sex

29 June Jun 2020
Liisa Maimon
Co-founder and Senior Teacher

Tantric sex is something that piques the interest of many people. Even the word “Tantra” by itself is often associated with sexual topics, giving it a sense of mystery and eroticism.

Due to a natural curiosity about sex and a certain fascination toward all things tantric, people tend to make assumptions about courses containing the word “Tantra” in their titles. Often, they build up expectations based entirely on misconceptions. We applaud a healthy curiosity about sexuality – it can lead you to discover amazing sexual and spiritual experiences like you never imagined. However, here are five important things to know about tantric sex before you decide to join a course or retreat.

Who invented tantric sex?

tantric sex
Tantric sex is an ancient approach to spiritual sexuality stemming from great masters of the tantric tradition of India.

Tantric sex is derived from the tantric masters and ancient tantric teachings of India, which presented a unique view on and practice of sex and sexuality.

The tantric approach to sexuality incorporates the use and control of energy as well as the cultivation of transcendent states of consciousness. To the tantrics, sexuality and spirituality are not at odds with each other but, in fact, are essentially one and the same. A couple’s lovemaking is the physical manifestation of the divine union with God, or the Supreme Consciousness. The teachings themselves provide a map for serious practitioners to learn how to harness and propagate the sexual energy to reach unprecedented spiritual heights.

The tantric sexual principles are referenced in texts written thousands of years ago, demonstrating clearly that this is not a new-age, kinky invention. They have deep spiritual roots, represent tested practices, and hold profound meanings that should not be ignored.

Is tantric sex Tantra?

Tantric sex is believed to be the essence of all tantric teachings, but this is a mistaken view. Tantric sex is only one of the magical and mysterious branches of the larger system of Tantra. If we represent Tantra as a whole pie with eight slices, then tantric sex is merely one slice. Tantra is not sex, but rather a comprehensive system of spiritual knowledge for the purpose of human and soul evolution.

5 important things to know about tantric sex

A few remarkable characteristics distinguish tantric sex from ordinary sex. These five principles are considered tantric sex fundamentals and are the basis of the teachings.

 

1. Spiritual sexuality.

tantric sex
Authentic tantric sex teaches couples how to transform ordinary sexuality into a transcendental spiritual experience.

To the modern mind, it may be difficult to grasp any connection between sex and spirituality. At face value these two concepts appear to be an odd couple – oxymoronic and even at opposite ends of the spectrum of life. However, tantric sex bridges this gap and a deeper look into its ancient heritage reveals that it is far more than just a provocative tool to spice up your sex life. The sexual energy, if harnessed and propagated correctly, can transform a human being from the inside out and provide a tangible gateway to connect and communicate directly with the Divine.

2. Energy is fundamental.

As mentioned, Tantra is a comprehensive spiritual system that is rooted in energy. It is the science and study of energy, put simply. Therefore, every single branch under the tantric umbrella has energy at its basis, including tantric sex. Tantric sex opens your heart and mind to an untapped and rare sexual dimension, and the use of energy is key to reaching it.

3. Energy mastery.

tantric sex
Here Somananda demonstrates the power and potential of energy mastery in a Tantra Massage demonstration and the full body energy orgasm experience.

There is a saying that if you don’t control your mind, your mind will control you. It is the same with the sexual energy. This energy in particular is a powerful and mighty force that is used to running amok and behaving in any way it pleases. The sexual energy, in fact, is a major unconscious driving force for most of our actions, emotions, and behaviors in daily life.In order to reach tantric dimensions in sex you must learn how to master energy. The sexual energy must be understood, controlled, directed, and ultimately mastered. It is here that this phenomenal innate force of nature propels you to achieve extraordinary things in life, and you are no longer a slave to it.

4. Practice makes perfect.

Becoming a tantric lover is not only about lovemaking and the physical acts of sex. You need to unlearn some old habits and adopt new techniques. It is vital to understand the principles of how sexual energy works, both in men and women, and to learn to control this energy first in yourself, and then eventually, in practice with your partner. That is when the real magic happens. As with any skill worth learning, becoming a skilled tantric lover takes time, practice, and patience.

5. Be careful of imposters.

Tantric sex has become a household expression lately. To appeal to the masses, many of the core principles that make tantric sex, well, tantric, have been diluted or dismissed altogether. There are many misconceptions around tantric sex. What you end up with nowadays is a watered-down version that focuses on superficial techniques and kinky sex positions, with zero mention of spirituality or energy. If authentic teachings are involved it will always elevate a practitioner to a higher level of being – more detached, wise, and devotional – and will inspire a more panoramic perspective on love and life. Look for teachings and teachers that align with a traditional lineage and follow original teachings over the modern, self-styled adaptations of those who claim to have improved on age-old and proven traditions.

Now that you know more about what to look for – and what to ignore – in the Tantra teachers you choose, we hope your discrimination will lead you directly to the authentic, valuable teachings that change lives!

A step-by-step guide for tantric sex

While one of the best ways to comprehensively learn tantric sexual knowledge, techniques, and rituals is through attending an intensive training, here are some simple yet beautiful steps you can take today to infuse your sexual experiences with tantric principles.

Preparations

  • tantric sex
    In preparing for tantric sexuality transform your room into a sacred space.

    Prepare a sacred space by lighting candles, using incense, dimming the lights, and playing soft background music that resonates with the heart chakra.

  • Try to create a relaxing and peaceful environment without distractions such as cell phones, television, etc.
  • Shower or take a bath together with your lover. The use of essential oils such as lavender or sandalwood can help to relax the mind and body and calm the emotions.
  • Massage each other using a natural oil such as almond or jojoba oil. You do not have to have any formal training to massage your partner. A sensual, devotional, and loving touch can go a long way.
  • If you are trained in Tantra Massage, this can be an excellent prelude to tantric sex.

Setting intentions

  • Now would be a good time to offer the fruits or merits of your sexual union to something higher than yourself, such as Shiva, God, the Universe, or Supreme Consciousness. This can come in the form of a prayer or consecration together, and this devotional act opens your spirits up to divine channels and grace. It can also provide a level of spiritual energy to guide your actions and intentions during the lovemaking process.

Breathing techniques

  • Breathing will help to circulate the pranic energy and enliven the physical and energetic bodies. A simple technique of pranayama – yogic, rhythmic breathing – is alternate nostril breathing. Here you simply block off the right nostril while inhaling slowly, deeply, and fully into the left nostril first. Really try to breathe into full capacity, “sipping” in as much air as you can. Hold the breath for as long as possible. Block off the left nostril and exhale through the right nostril. Relax in the exhalation as long as possible. Then, inhale through the right nostril slowly, deeply, and fully, until you cannot sip another drop of air. Hold here for as long as possible. Block off the right nostril and exhale fully out of the left nostril. At the bottom of the exhale hold the breath as long as possible. This is one round. Continue with this pattern for 5 or 10 minutes.

Meditation

  • tantric sex
    A couple’s meditation is one of the key ways to prepare mentally, emotionally and spiritually for a blissful tantric sex experience.

    If you have previously attended our courses or retreats and are familiar with tantric meditation techniques such as Laya Yoga using the Shiva mantra, meditate for 15 minutes using this technique.

  • Alternatively, you can meditate upon sahasrara, the crown chakra. Sit with your spine straight in a comfortable seated position. You and your partner can face each other or sit side by side. It is not recommended to lie down in meditation. Next, close your eyes and simply bring your attention and awareness to the top of your head, your crown chakra. Meditate upon this for 15 minutes.
  • Try this guided meditation for love. Somananda’s hypnotic voice melts you into a state of selflessness and compassion at the level of anahata chakra, the heart chakra, in this meditation.
  • Sit across from your partner in a comfortable seated position. Props such as pillows or a meditation cushion can be used to ensure you are relaxed and not bothered by any physical discomfort. Hold hands with your partner and gaze into each other’s eyes. Imagine a white light at the center of your chest and begin sending energy from your heart to the heart of your partner. Try to visualize white light radiating out from the center of your chest and bathe your partner in this light. This can also be done with the eyes closed. Connect at the level of the heart for 10-15 minutes.

Activate the senses

  • Using food items that are known to be natural aphrodisiacs such as honey, chocolate, and cream, seductively feed and tease your partner in a playful and sensual way, amplifying and building the sexual energy.
  • Caressing your partner’s skin with silk and feathers can wonderfully stimulate the sense of touch, thus activating the heart chakra more and more.

Talking to each other

  • Take turns sharing your deepest desires with your partner.
  • Whisper into each other’s ears.
  • Read each other poems, such as those by the famous poet Rumi or others that are especially devotional and loving.

Additional tantric tips for couples

  • Tantric sex on an empty stomach can prove to be beneficial in controlling the sexual energy and channeling it to higher energy centers. A full stomach can lead to heavy energy that is difficult to control and move.
  • Natural aphrodisiacs such as ashwagandha, ginkgo biloba, and red ginseng can be used in the case of skilled tantric lovers. While these medicinal substances have the potential to arouse and strongly amplify the innate sexual energy, this can bring about negative consequences according to Tantra, namely the loss of the sexual energy or vital life force. Therefore, it is highly recommended that, prior to incorporating such herbs into your regimen as a natural solution to any sexual dysfunctions, you first learn the art of Spiritual Tantra Sexuality and become proficient in sexual continence.

What does tantric sex ultimately lead to?

tantric sex
As with all the branches of Tantra, including tantric sexuality, the ultimate goal and destination is always spiritual transformation and illumination.

Tantric sex is one of the tantric paths that lead toward spiritual illumination. In the ancient times of India, tantric masters and enlightened gurus used sexuality for sincere spiritual purposes. By utilizing the sexual energy in a specific way, they were able to generate an elongated orgasmic state and thereby an enlightened state, while riding continuous waves of bliss and ecstasy. They used this energetic force found in the manifested world – the sexual energy – to reach unmanifested spiritual dimensions that most only dream about.

Here’s an analogy: Normally, we human beings utilize only about 3%-5% of our brain’s potential. Imagine if you had the practical knowledge and techniques to begin to utilize 30%, 50%, or even 80% of your brain’s capacity? Your whole life would change completely. It is the same with sexuality. Today, modern people only tap into about 5%-10% of their true, innate sexual potential. Tantric sex is the means to access 30%-80% or even more of this potential – that is how powerful it can be. It has the capacity to shift your mind, your body, your spirit, and your life completely!

Become a true tantric man or woman

We at Somananda Tantra School believe in the importance of not only having access to authentic tantric teachings, but also in verifying correct practice in order to ensure success. Our Spiritual Tantra Sexuality retreat provides a powerful opportunity to transform yourself into a true tantric man or woman using the clear techniques presented, expert guidance, and in-depth practical knowledge.

Luckily, these sacred practices are not reserved for the spiritual elite only! We are waiting to meet you and share these remarkable teachings with you.

Liisa Maimon

Co-founder and Senior Teacher

An inspiring tantric yogini, Liisa is a strong driving force of the school – both as a senior teacher and general manager.

Recommended Course

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Spiritual Tantra Sexuality

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Embark on an exciting journey into the world of tantric sexuality where you will learn the skills necessary to become a true tantric man or woman. This course will take you from the ABCs all the way to sophisticated tantric know-how. Uncover the secrets of real sexual ecstasy and transform your love making to a spiritual and liberating experience!