With its promises of extraordinary orgasmic experiences, prolonged lovemaking sessions, and transcendent states of consciousness, tantric sex has gained considerable attention lately. This is no surprise considering the current state of sexuality in contemporary society where orgasms are fleeting, sexual dysfunctions such as frigidity and erectile dysfunction are rampant, intimacy is lacking, and sexual boredom is very common. We are all aching for more – more meaning, more pleasure, deeper connections, and perhaps even something more mystical or spiritual in our lives.
To the modern mind, it may be difficult to grasp any connection between sex and spirituality. At face value these two concepts appear to be an odd couple – oxymoronic and even at opposite ends of the spectrum of life. However, tantric sex bridges this gap and a deeper look into its heritage reveals it is more infinite and far vaster than just a provocative tool for present dilemma’s.
Tantric sex is a small part of the greater system of Tantra. Defined most simplistically, Tantra is the science and study of energy. It is also a whole and complete spiritual system that answers life’s greatest mysteries, while at the same time granting the practical tools and techniques to develop our inner world, live a happy and harmonious life, and bring us closer to the secret forces of nature that rule our reality. This all-encompassing practice has the potential to help us become the masters of our own destiny and unequivocally understand our true purpose as human beings.
Tantric sex is one of the tantric paths to spiritual illumination. It embodies the principles of Tantra in an integral, very potent and healing form of lovemaking that can provoke wondrous effects at all levels of the being – physical, mental, emotional, sexual, and spiritual. Those who become earnest practitioners discover that the journey itself to this tantric promised land is already breathtaking and magical.
So far, this may all sound a bit too metaphysical for your liking. Perhaps your interest in tantric sex only entails seeking creative ways to spice up your sex life or learning a few tricks to become a better lover. Regardless of your aims, there is still value in understanding that in which you invest your time and energy.
Up until a few years ago tantric sex was not the household term it has become today. It is now widely integrated into the sexual landscape of all major cities worldwide and is a frontrunner in Google searches.
What is prevalent now may appeal to the masses but is hardly representative of the original roots and philosophy from which tantric sex was derived. Devoid of its true heritage, the fruits of this practice and its potential to enable transcendent sexual experiences and spiritual transformation are no longer guaranteed. However, you can find the real deal if you know how to look for it.
Practiced properly and with the right guidance, tantric sex is an almost formulaic beaten path; sincere efforts bring profound results. Because it is a part of a bigger, broader system with ancient, spiritual, and energetic roots, if authentic teachings are involved it will always elevate a practitioner to a higher level of being – more detached, wise, and devotional – and will inspire a more panoramic perspective on love and life. Look for teachers who align with a traditional lineage and follow the original teachings over the modern, self-styled adaptations of those who claim to have improved on the source traditions.
Since tantric sex is widely misunderstood there are many assumptions and misconceptions that accompany it. Let’s dispel some common illusions surrounding this ancient practice.
1. Tantric sex involves polyamorous relationships: Many people assume that tantric sex involves outlandish sexual acts, group orgies, multiple partners, and open relationships. In fact, tantric sex is a science of sexuality that provides wisdom and expertise on how to: feel and control energy, arousing energy in yourself and your partner, enhancing sensations in lovemaking, becoming multi-orgasmic as a man or woman, expanding your orgasmic potential, deeply connecting with your partner, and bringing spirituality to your sexuality for more profound and fulfilling experiences. None of this preordains open relationship dynamics. Some couples in a tantric relationship may choose to embrace multiple partners, but this is an individual choice and not in any way a requirement for practicing tantric sex.
2. Tantric sex is Kama Sutra: While both of these traditions emerged from India, they are not one and the same. Kama Sutra is an ancient text intended for the average person, or householder, to improve his or her relationship and have a better sex life. The tantric teachings were certainly influential in the creation of this text, but the two practices remain distinctively different and entirely independent of one another. Sexual positions are irrelevant in the true tantric teachings. If a casual observer were to witness two skilled tantric lovers, there would be nothing acrobatic about their experience. It would likely appear as a mundane encounter to ordinary eyes, with two people in passionate embrace, yet inwardly they would be reaching states of bliss and ecstasy. This is what makes tantric sex extraordinary – when energy is utilized according to genuine tantric principles the potential is limitless.
3. Tantric sex comes down to technique: Another common misconception about tantric sex is that it can be achieved by superficial means such as specific positions, manual techniques, personal intentions, looking into each other’s eyes, or by performing certain rituals and preparations. Tantric sex cannot be reached by a lifehack mindset; “10 techniques for beginners” and “Do ABC to get 123” do not apply here. It is a science, and as with any science mastery requires study and discipline. The process is much more comprehensive. In order to become an adept tantric lover, there needs to be a willingness to surpass conventional beliefs and behaviors surrounding sex, as well as a desire for self-assessment and introspection. Do not be seduced by the “too good to be true” shortcuts and detours.
4. Tantric sex is for hippies and hipsters: Tantric sex appeals to people of all temperaments, ages, and levels of intellect. It is not reserved for free-spirited nonconformists. As mentioned above, tantric sex is a scientifically based domain abiding by universal laws and principles and accompanied by a long history, verifiable results, and a methodical approach. Regardless if you are spiritually inclined, emotionally driven, or intellectually prone this system clarifies the meaning of comprehensive and spiritual sexuality and how to achieve it in practice – in essence, how to become a true tantric man or woman.
5. Tantric sex is a myth itself: Many believe that tantric sex is fantasy and pretense – an imaginary invention with mythical claims.
The real myth here, however, is our current belief of what sex truly is. We have been fed perhaps one of the greatest lies of all time: that sex is merely a mechanical act serving two purposes – reproduction and the satisfaction of instinctual urges. To appease your skepticism about whether tantric sex and the promised results truly exist there are scientific studies, testaments from famous personalities as well as academic articles that validate it as a real and tangible practice. Nevertheless, as the old saying goes, the tree is known by its fruits. To sincerely eliminate all doubt, you must come and learn for yourself!
Hopefully by dispelling some common misconceptions, we can better conceive what this great practice is truly about and can begin to understand tantric sex as both a useful tool for self-development and as part of a path that leads to the ultimate in terms of spiritual liberation.
Founder and Senior Teacher
An inspiring tantric yogini, Liisa is a strong driving force of the school – both as a senior teacher and general manager.
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