Starting a Family According to Tantra

1 August Aug 2015
family planning tantra
Founder and Head Teacher

This is article one of a two part series


Although every species under the sun procreates in an instinctual process of reproductive activity,

family planning tantra - conscious conception
Tantra presents us with the possibility to create life consciously and to draw in a soul of a high caliber during the moment of conception.

human beings – blessed with reflexive consciousness and spiritual lucidity – can not only mate by choice, they can apply their consciousness to this process.

Such an intelligent approach harmonizes perfectly with the tantric lifestyle of bringing awareness to our daily lives for those who ultimately choose to become parents. Tantra has special advice and consults various resources for each stage of having a child: planning to conceive, conception itself, pregnancy, and the childrearing years.

Tantra believes that conceiving a child should be done in a spiritual manner and the preparation should begin long before the moment of conception.

Deciding to Have a Child: Preparing to Host a Soul

Often today, those who would be the most fit to have children – spiritually speaking – don’t. The Dalai Lama, Ammachi, the hugging saint, and others whose spiritual qualities might have been passed on in their DNA, enriching the planet further, did not have children. Instead, like the 19th century spiritual giant Ramakrishna, left disciples to whom they personally gave the gift of samadhi. Even those who would be inclined to apply vegetarianism during pregnancy to increase the spiritual vibration of a potential child tend to be somewhat passionate (others might say fanatical) about their Yoga practice, and such people have proved to be mostly uninterested in having children.

family planning tantra - prepare for conception
A couple can begin preparing for conception a year or more in advance.

However, for those who would like to have children and look forward to being parents, Tantra believes that conceiving a child should be done in a spiritual manner and the preparation should begin long before the moment of conception.

The mother and father to-be are advised to begin a Yoga tapas, or specially dedicated practice, of two hours daily prior to and during the period in which they try to conceive. Both should detoxify their lifestyles and do cleansing – the man to purify his energy, increasing his sperm quality as well as motility and potency, and the woman to purify herself internally and energetically, preparing the way for a future child.


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Next it is wise to choose a very auspicious astrological moment for conception which fits with the woman. However, according to the stars, that moment may not come for two years. Tantrics often consult either a respected astrologer or their own knowledge of an advanced Yoga of universal rhythms when planning an occasion as important as the conception of a child.

Conception: Building a Blueprint With Positive Intentions

The moment of conception itself is extraordinarily important. In the spiritual tradition of Tibet, it is held that the way in which the parents make love is what directly attracts a high soul to spiritually embody the child of that couple.

family planning tantra - a couple can call in a pure soul if the lovemaking is tantric
Through a states of devotion and purity during the love making process, a couple can attract or call in a spiritual soul.

In line with this thinking, the preparation to invite the spirit of that child gets underway long beforehand, with purification and meditation. Next the couple begins their lovemaking with a consecration, like a spiritual dedication of the outcome of the lovemaking, surrendering the act and its results to the Divine. They engage in tantric lovemaking – fully in love, orgasm and awareness – until the moment when ejaculation consciously takes place.

Now, with a million sperm cells swimming for the finale, what contributes to selecting the one which will make it? The aura of the mother and father together in that moment of ejaculation. The actual fertilization, which is very important, can occur minutes or hours later, so it is wise to remain in a state of meditation or sublimation in the meantime and physically engaged in lovemaking as long as possible.

With regard to state of mind, creating a child in a cynical, depressed, or drunk state cannot be compared to creating one in a state of prayer and divine aspiration, with consecration. The higher the state of devotion during conception itself, the higher the chances are of attracting a spiritual soul into the fetus. And in all spiritual traditions, having a very evolved spirit in your family, one with good karma and destined for spiritual accomplishments, is definitely a gift which can even lead to the spiritual liberation of the mother.

This process actually reflects back on a fundamental law in Yoga. How does a couple invite a spiritual soul to join their family? Resonance. Even the Dalai Lama has expressed concern that, with the low-level occupation by China and its atheistic suppression of religion, the Tibetans in Tibet today may not be “pure” enough to call bodhisattvas into their wombs. Thus even the harmony of the soul with dharma is more important than the state of the physical body.


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A Mother of Seven Saints

family planning tantra - a mother of saints painting
A painting of a Mother of saints.

In early Christian history, St. Felicitas was the mother of seven saints in the century following the death of Jesus Christ. The seven brothers were raised by this noble and pious widow, who brought them up within an environment of perfect sentiments and the practice of heroic virtue.

Following the death of her husband, she served God in chastity, employed solely in prayer, fasting, and works of charity. Imagine a mother like this; her secret was that she always procreated in prayer. This only serves to further illustrate that the more spiritually devoted and pure the parents are, the higher the level of the soul who will join them as their child.

It may be hard to believe such importance exists solely regarding the moment of conception, but this is not exclusive to Tantra. In fact, among the Himba tribespeople of Namibia in Southern Africa, a child’s birthday is marked not from the date of birth or even conception, but rather from the day his mother decided to have a child. This is another illustration of respect for intention which relates closely to a powerful, major principle in Yoga and Tantra: energy follows thought or, said another way, creation begins as an idea.

Read more in a follow up article here: Pregnancy and Childrearing According to Tantric Principles


Founder and Head Teacher

Spiritual yogi, lecturer, teacher and author, Somananda is the founder and head teacher of Somananda Tantra School.

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