Frigidity: It’s Not What You Think
Frigidity is broadly defined by the allopathic medical community as a low sex drive in women; an inability for her to reach or achieve orgasm or even experience pleasure during the act of sex; and/or, in some cases, feeling pain and discomfort during intercourse. It is no surprise that according to modern doctors the underlying reasons for frigidity are emotional and psychological factors or a physical defect.
But Tantra says otherwise. According to this wise spiritual system frigidity stems from a blockage at the level of a very important chakra.
A widespread problem
Frigidity does not discriminate. Women from all walks of life, all ages and diverse backgrounds can experience some level or degree of frigidity in her life. As an authentic tantric school we encounter more and more women these days who are unable to feel deep satisfaction or fulfillment on the sexual level, and the impact is considerable on her psyche and feminine essence, not to mention her relationship with a partner.
This widespread issue encompasses a level of human suffering. Because at the end of the day we are all sensual and sexual beings. Sexual delight is our natural birthright says Tantra, and it is vital for human psychology and spiritual totality. It is an inherent need and desire as a human being to join a lover in joyous sexual union and plunge through the gates of cosmic ecstasy as one. When the sexual appetite is not satiated it can leave a wake of hardship in the life of a woman and her interpersonal relationships with others.
The modern solution
Modern sexologists present women who suffer from frigidity with an “easy” solution – just learn how to stimulate the clitoris and achieve orgasm through rubbing and friction. More often than not this is an unsuccessful remedy and a harmful, superficial fix to a deeper problem.
You see, women are capable of achieving seven different types of orgasms. The clitoris orgasm is not only the most superficial, but also the most explosive and unfulfilling form of pleasure a woman can truly experience. Regular climaxing at this level can leave a woman even more dissatisfied than she was before and desensitized to the deeper forms of pleasure and orgasms. It is a short term resolution with long term implications and consequences.
Frigidity according to Tantra
According to the ancient wisdom of Tantra longstanding frigidity is an energetic blockage at the level of Anahata chakra, the heart chakra. This is contradictory to the widely accepted assumption that female sexual dysfunction is a psychological manifestation or a genital defect or flaw.
Now, this explanation might sound too esoteric for your liking. However, in Tantra, and Yoga for that matter, the chakras are not some vague concept or new age mumbo-jumbo. These energy centers govern every aspect of our being and are an existential part of who we are. For great yogi masters the chakras are as tangible and perceivable as their own limbs.
Through our customary and traditional lifestyles – our diet, our jobs, our level of stress, our health status, our astrological sign, our behaviors and habits and the environment in which we live – the quality of the chakras are influenced and affected greatly. The more impure our lifestyle, the more impure our chakras will be.
In the case of frigidity the heart chakra needs to go through a cleansing and purification process and the woman must learn how to authentically live and give from the heart.
Powerful Tantra Yoga techniques can help
Frigidity can be easily and harmoniously cured if a woman is invested in her healing and rehabilitation. With the right techniques and dedication one can learn how to properly open, balance and purify the heart chakra and be well on her way to feminine blossoming, sexual fulfillment and oceanic orgasmic bliss.
Below is a list of powerful Tantra Yoga techniques for you:
Also known as the Cobra Pose, Bhujangasana is one of the most powerful yoga asanas to open and balance the heart chakra. In order for a woman to truly reap the rewards of this asana there must be a strong focus and concentration on the flow of energy permeating the center of the chest, as described under the execution section below.
Also, Bhujangasana should be performed for a continuous amount of time. As a beginner you can start with 1-2 minutes nonstop. However, slowly build up to 10, 15 and even 20 minutes daily in order to maximize results and realize the full potential of this asana on the heart chakra.
Lie down on your stomach with the legs separated. Place the palms of your hands flat on the ground directly under your shoulders. Extend the arms fully, arching the back while gently tilting the head back. If this is uncomfortable on the low back, simply walk the hands forward, decreasing the degree of extension in the low spine. Find a comfortable level of performance for you, which you can sustain and maintain for several minutes at a time. Alternatively, you can do the sphinx position as demonstrated in the photos.
Close your eyes and focus your attention on your heart chakra. Try to perceive energy from above streaming down and directly infusing your heart. If your mind wanders away from the point of concentration at any time, simply bring it back.
Variation 1 of Bhujangasana
Variation 2 of Bhujangasana
#2 Music Meditation
Music, when it is of a certain quality and resonance, can be a dynamic healer and positive remodeler of the substructure of the deeper aspects of our being. In this case, because we want to heal and affect Anahata chakra, we will use music that reverberates at the frequency and level of the heart. Our advanced teachers specifically recommend music by the famous composer Mozart.
Find a quiet space to perform a music meditation. It is best to use an external speaker to project the music as opposed to earphones. Come to a comfortable seated position, using props or pillows if necessary. It is important that you sit for this meditation, not lie down. Begin playing the music (rather loud) and close your eyes. Concentrate fully on the sounds that are coming from the speaker. Allow the music to simply penetrate your entire being. As though you are a sponge, absorbing the music wholly. Try not to judge or analyze the music or move your body in any way. Just simply sit still and get lost in the music. This should be done for 20-30 minutes daily.
#3 Guided Meditation
A guided meditation can help a practitioner surpass the conscious part of their mind where limitations lie, and access the subconscious aspect which is home to pure potential, limitlessness and non-judgement. When a meditation is guided by a spiritually adept teacher then valuable impressions and suggestions can be implanted deep in the mind and a person can experience a positive remodeling and upgrading of their level of consciousness.
In this guided meditation, Somananda’s hypnotic voice melts you into a state of selflessness and compassion at the level of Anahata chakra. Experience deep levels of relaxation where your mind meets your heart and your heart meets your mind. Become a beacon of light as vibrations of universal love radiate from the center of your chest and pierce the fabric of universal consciousness.
Find a quiet space for meditation where you will not encounter disturbances of any kind. Come to a comfortable seated position, using props or pillows if necessary. It is important that you sit for this meditation, not lie down. Begin playing the guided meditation. Close your eyes and follow the guidance and instruction of Soma. This meditation can be done daily or alternated with music meditation every other day.
The art of giving from the heart
Paradoxically, those who suffer from frigidity must learn how to give selflessly from the heart. In addition to practicing the above mentioned techniques often and consistently, learning how to give from the heart can be an incredible tool in remedying frigidity.
During the love making process a woman should refrain from focusing on her own pleasure and trying to receive or reach orgasm. Instead, the concentration and focus should be on her partner, loving him wholly and pleasing him earnestly and intently.
This can be a challenging concept for many, especially when the frigid road is wrought with frustration, defeat, sadness and disappointment. To ask a woman with sexual dysfunction to fully dedicate and give herself to another is unsettling, and yet this is exactly where the solution lies. Insisting that someone outside of you, whether that be a partner or a healthcare professional, needs to please you, fix you, fulfill you or heal you, simply perpetuates the frigidity cycle.
When a woman focuses on giving more to her lover authentically from the heart – more pleasure, more love, more satisfaction – she will discover that she is better able to receive and that her pleasure receptors and sensors will be remarkably enhanced. A sexual union with this mindset will alter a lot within the woman’s psyche and ultimately transmute the heart blockage – which is the original seed of the frigidity inception.
The tantric path
When overcoming frigidity a woman should never compromise on the quality and caliber of her lover. Ideally he is schooled in tantric sex know-how and can extend the love making process for hours, giving the woman a place and space to truly explore and discover the depths of her being, while surrendering fully to the masculine essence. Intimacy can elevate to unimaginable heights and the heart will have no choice but to succumb to divine love and ecstasy.