Frigidity: It’s Not What You Think
Frigidity is broadly defined by the allopathic medical community as a low sex drive in women; an inability for her to reach or achieve orgasm or even experience pleasure during the act of sex; and/or, in some cases, feeling pain and discomfort during intercourse. It is referred to by various names including female impotence, sexual aversion disorder and sexual arousal disorder. According to modern doctors the underlying reasons for frigidity are emotional and psychological factors, or a physical defect.
But Tantra says otherwise. According to this wise spiritual system frigidity stems from a blockage at the level of a very important chakra, anahata, the heart chakra.
Frigidity according to Tantra
According to the ancient wisdom of Tantra, frigidity and female impotence is an energetic blockage at the level of anahata chakra, the heart chakra. This is contradictory to the widely accepted assumption that female sexual dysfunction, or sexual arousal disorder, is a psychological manifestation or a genital defect or flaw.
Now, this explanation might sound too esoteric for your liking. However, in Tantra, and Yoga for that matter, the chakras are not some vague concept or new age mumbo-jumbo. These energy centers govern every aspect of our being and are an existential part of who we are. For great yogi masters the chakras are as tangible, perceivable and controllable as their own limbs.
Through our customary and traditional lifestyles – our diet, our jobs, our level of stress, our health status, our astrological sign, our behaviors and habits and the environment in which we live – the quality of the chakras are influenced and affected greatly. The more impure our lifestyle, the more impure our chakras will be.
How does a heart blockage develop?
A blockage at the level of the heart can develop for many different reasons and circumstances, and at different times within a woman’s life.
For example, if a woman grows up in a very draconian and repressive environment, based on religion or otherwise, she may learn from a young age that matters of the heart are irrelevant, love is a fantasy and doesn’t exist, sexuality is immoral, a woman’s role is to please and serve a man, pleasure and desire are sinful, and other disparaging belief systems. This disconnects a young girl from her heart and soul at an impressionable age, which perseveres throughout her entire life, often times on an unconscious level and as an automatic program.
Trauma and abuse, either verbally, emotionally, physically or sexually, can also create a blockage at the level of the heart, as can a history of repetitive broken hearts and loss.
Frigidity in marriage
Due to institutionalized marriage and society pressures, a very common modern conundrum many women face is staying in a perpetuating and pathologically unhappy and/or unhealthy marriage or relationship for a long duration of time. A disconnection to oneself and others, including her partner, as well as a heart blockage can develop in the long or short term. This is one of the ways in which female sexual aversion disorder can manifest later in life for a woman and is not necessarily driven by childhood experiences or her upbringing.
The developed aversion appears to be towards the act of sex itself or sexuality generally, however, when digging deeper, women will often times discover that the core of their frigidity is due to an animosity, dissatisfaction or incompatibility with their partner or relationship, and not sexual intimacy itself. A fact that is proven often when a woman’s so-called impotence is immediately remedied by the fancy or touch of a new partner.
A widespread problem
Frigidity does not discriminate. Women from all walks of life, all ages and diverse backgrounds can experience some level or degree of frigidity in her life. As an authentic tantric school, we encounter more and more women these days who are unable to feel deep satisfaction or fulfillment on the sexual level, and the impact is considerable on her psyche and feminine essence, not to mention her relationship with a partner, when relevant.
Signs you have a blockage at the heart chakra
Determining whether you have a blockage at the heart is not as clear-cut as one might expect, simply due to its energetic nature and origin.
Energy doesn’t always play by customary or habitual rules. An energetic imbalance can manifest differently in different people based on factors such as gender, astrological sign and makeup, past lives, physical health, the mind and mental composition, upbringing and genetics, just to name a few.
Nevertheless, here is a shortlist of the most common signs that a woman might display if she indeed has a blockage at this chakra:
- A fear or aversion to touch
- An inability to maintain sustained eye contact
- Using laughter and humor incessantly to avoid intimate discussions or issues
- Fear of intimacy
- Skin disorders or problems
- Disease at the area of the breasts
- Concave chest
How to diagnose female sexual dysfunction
According to Tantra the individual is comprised of many layers and levels to their being: physical, energetic, mental, sexual and emotional. Each level is a vital contributing member to the whole construct. When trying to diagnose female sexual dysfunction it is common for multiple signs and symptoms to be present from multiple or all levels, and is not singular nor universal by nature – meaning that by having just one of the below symptoms does not suggest a woman is frigid AND frigidity does not show up universally the same for every woman.
Physical: At the physical level sexual aversion can manifest as pain during sex, numbness in key erogenous zones such as the breasts and genitals, chronic infections involving the yoni and/or sexual organs and general localized pain in the body.
Energetic: As explained above, in detail, a heart chakra blockage is at the heart of frigidity, invariably.
Mental: Mentally a woman has a negative thought pattern and attitude towards sex, either rejecting it entirely as a fundamental part of her existence or demonizing her own sexuality as something that is shameful or sinful.
Emotional: Resentment, bitterness, anger, hysteria, emotional overwhelm and depression are a few examples of common manifestations at the emotional level.
The modern solution
Modern sexologists present women who suffer from frigidity with an “easy” solution – just learn how to stimulate the clitoris and achieve orgasm through rubbing and friction. More often than not this is an unsuccessful remedy and a harmful, superficial fix to a deeper problem.
You see, women are capable of achieving seven different types of orgasms. The clitoris orgasm is not only the most superficial, but also the most explosive and unfulfilling form of pleasure a woman can truly experience.
Regular climaxing at this level can leave a woman even more dissatisfied than she was before and desensitized to the deeper forms of pleasure and orgasms. It is a short-term resolution with long term implications and consequences causing a woman to lose vital life force energy, to become emotionally imbalanced and even more sexually frustrated.
Powerful Tantra Yoga techniques that can help you overcome frigidity
In the case of frigidity, the heart chakra needs to go through a cleansing and purification process and the woman must learn how to authentically live and give from the heart.
Frigidity can be easily and harmoniously cured if a woman is invested in her healing and rehabilitation. With the right techniques and dedication one can learn how to properly open, balance and purify the heart chakra and be well on her way to feminine blossoming, sexual fulfillment and oceanic orgasmic bliss.
Below is a list of powerful Tantra Yoga techniques that are easy to follow and implement into a daily routine.
Also known as the Cobra Pose, bhujangasana is one of the most powerful yoga asanas to open and balance the heart chakra. In order for a woman to truly reap the rewards of this asana there must be a strong focus and concentration on the flow of energy permeating the center of the chest, as described under the execution section below.
Also, bhujangasana should be performed for a continuous amount of time. As a beginner you can start with 1-2 minutes nonstop. However, slowly build up to 10, 15 and even 20 minutes daily in order to maximize results and realize the full potential of this asana on the heart chakra.
Lie down on your stomach with the legs separated. Place the palms of your hands flat on the ground directly under your shoulders. Extend the arms fully, arching the back while gently tilting the head back. If this is uncomfortable on the low back, simply walk the hands forward, decreasing the degree of extension in the low spine. Find a comfortable level of performance for you, which you can sustain and maintain for several minutes at a time. Alternatively, you can do the sphinx position as demonstrated in the photos.
Close your eyes and focus your attention on your heart chakra. Try to perceive energy from above streaming down and directly infusing your heart. If your mind wanders away from the point of concentration at any time, simply bring it back.
Variation 1 of Bhujangasana
Variation 2 of Bhujangasana
#2 Music Meditation
Music, when it is of a certain quality and resonance, can be a dynamic healer and positive remodeler of the substructure of the deeper aspects of our being. In this case, because we want to heal and affect anahata chakra, we will use music that reverberates at the frequency and level of the heart. Our advanced teachers specifically recommend music by the famous composer Mozart.
Find a quiet space to perform a music meditation. It is best to use an external speaker to project the music, as opposed to earphones. Come to a comfortable seated position, using props or pillows if necessary. It is important that you sit for this meditation, not lie down. Begin playing the music (rather loud) and close your eyes. Concentrate fully on the sounds that are coming from the speaker. Allow the music to simply penetrate your entire being. As though you are a sponge, absorbing the music wholly. Try not to judge or analyze the music or move your body in any way. Just simply sit still and get lost in the music. This should be done for 20-30 minutes daily.
#3 Guided Meditation
A guided meditation can help a practitioner surpass the conscious part of their mind where limitations lie, and access the subconscious aspect which is home to pure potential, limitlessness and non-judgement. When a meditation is guided by a spiritually adept teacher then valuable impressions and suggestions can be implanted deep in the mind and a person can experience a positive remodeling and upgrading of their level of consciousness.
In this guided meditation, Somananda’s hypnotic voice melts you into a state of selflessness and compassion at the level of anahata chakra. Experience deep levels of relaxation where your mind meets your heart and your heart meets your mind. Become a beacon of light as vibrations of universal love radiate from the center of your chest and pierce the fabric of universal consciousness.
Find a quiet space for meditation where you will not encounter disturbances of any kind. Come to a comfortable seated position, using props or pillows if necessary. It is important that you sit for this meditation, not lie down. Begin playing the guided meditation. Close your eyes and follow the guidance and instruction of Soma. This meditation can be done daily or alternated with music meditation every other day.
Giving from the heart
Paradoxically, those who suffer from frigidity must learn how to give selflessly from the heart. In addition to practicing the above-mentioned techniques often and consistently, learning how to give from the heart can be an incredible tool in remedying frigidity.
During the love making process a woman should refrain from focusing on her own pleasure and trying to receive or reach orgasm. Instead, the concentration and focus should be on her partner, loving him wholly and pleasing him earnestly and intently.
This can be a challenging concept for many, especially when the frigid road is wrought with frustration, defeat, sadness and disappointment. To ask a woman with sexual aversion disorder, as it is sometimes referred to as, to fully dedicate and give herself to another is unsettling, and yet this is exactly where the solution lies. Insisting that someone outside of you, whether that be a partner or a healthcare professional, needs to please you, fix you, fulfill you or heal you, simply perpetuates the frigidity cycle.
When a woman focuses on giving more to her lover authentically from the heart – more pleasure, more love, more satisfaction – she will discover that she is better able to receive and that her pleasure receptors and sensors will be remarkably enhanced. A sexual union with this mindset will alter a lot within the woman’s psyche and ultimately transmute the heart blockage – which is the original seed of the frigidity inception.
There are many herbal treatments that can also support a woman in eradicating frigidity for good. It is important to note, however, these natural remedies should be supplemental to the above spiritual protocol for a complete “frigidity treatment”.
Ayurvedic Herbs: There are several well-known ayurvedic herbs that can boost libido and sexual performance, naturally. Such aphrodisiacs include ashwagandha, ginkgo biloba and red ginseng. While these medicinal substances have the potential to arouse our natural and innate sexual energy, this can bring about negative consequences according to Tantra; namely the loss of the sexual energy or vital life force energy. Therefore, it is highly recommended that prior to incorporating such herbs into your regimen as a natural solution to any sexual dysfunctions that you first learn the art of Spiritual Tantra Sexuality and become proficient in sexual continence.
Damiana Tea: A native shrub to Central and South America and the West Indies, this is a medicinal plant with aphrodisiac qualities. Frequent use can improve sexual satisfaction, increase orgasm frequency, reduce vaginal dryness and generally assist women to overcome frigidity.
Yoni douche: Due to toxic and unhealthy lifestyles the yoni can become overrun with harmful bacteria that can reduce sexual drive, decrease natural vaginal lubrication, increase foul vaginal odors, imbalance the yoni flora, promote (chronic) infections, and cause many other unpleasant side effects.
Yoni douche can be a natural and safe alternative to allopathic medicines and provide many beneficial effects. For this procedure you will need a kit, which can easily be obtained online. You can create your own DIY formula using natural substances such as apple cider vinegar, chamomile tea, essential oils, distilled water, castile soaps and nourishing oils. Of course, it is important you do your own research and perhaps speak to a trusted doctor before administering your own treatments. An alternative to yoni douches’ is yoni steams.
The tantric path
Frigidity is a widespread issue encompassing a level of human suffering, because, at the end of the day, we are all sensual and sexual beings. Sexual delight is our natural birthright says Tantra (and Sigmund Freud), and it is vital for human psychology and spiritual totality. It is an inherent need and desire as a human being to join a lover in joyous sexual union and plunge through the gates of cosmic ecstasy as one. When the sexual appetite is not satiated it can leave a wake of hardship in the life of a woman and her interpersonal relationships with others.
Tantra is abundant with wisdom and techniques to alleviate many modern ailments that plague humanity today. With energy being the cornerstone of all tantric teachings, it is incredibly far-reaching and beyond powerful – capable of touching any human being on all levels – physically, energetically, mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually. These ancient practices are the modern remedy to all human suffering and disease. Tantric Massage, Tantric Sexuality and Tantra Yoga are just a few of the paths within Tantra that can help women overcome frigidity. These are proven solutions that don’t just address the symptom but the true cause and core of such Neolithic problems. They leave a woman not just freed of symptoms or restored to normalcy, but renewed, whole, reconnected, informed and spiritually and energetically alive.
What medicine or clitoral orgasm can do that? None! It pays to go deep.